McRomance

"Excuse me!" "Ma'am!" You hear the faint voice growing louder. "Do you want fries with that?" You blink and find yourself standing in the middle of your local McDonald's. You come back to reality and realize you are on a first date with the man you met at the grocery store two weeks before. You finally reply to the voice behind the counter and ask them to “large size” that fry. As you take the seat across from the handsome young man, you can't help but drift in and out of the conversation. There is definitely nothing romantic about this date. Nothing romantic about the fries you are sharing, and nothing romantic about the screaming kids fighting over their happy meals. You find yourself day dreaming about the black and white films you watch alone on Saturday night. What ever happened to romance? Is it a thing of the past? There is definitely not a thing that screams romance over french fries. Have we lost touch for the desire of love? When is the last time you witnessed a man open a door for a lady? Or perhaps the car door for the lady he was treating to a night out on the town? Is that something we as women do not crave? It seems as if when we do meet a charming young man, who is a complete gentleman, we don’t know how to react. We respond with surprise and a bit of awkwardness, when it’s simply something we should be accustomed too, a thing that feels natural to us. Maybe if more men behaved as gentlemen, love would always be in the air. Instead of being asked if we would like fries with that, we could be asked what selection of wine we would enjoy with our dinner. Doesn’t that sound a bit more attractive? We should call this “reasonable accommodation”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like a lady. The truth is, we can’t blame anybody but ourselves. We allowed romance to escape our lives, yet with no examples to follow but black and white movies how can we ever get it back? Perhaps a trip to Paris would rekindle the flame. Why not bring Paris to us? We all have daydreams about love, why not make them worthwhile. 

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

How do you get a man to commit? To become a one woman man and husband material? Is there a secret to transforming a bachelor into a family man? For various reasons it seems to be harder than taming a wild animal. Are a percentage of men really trapped in the bachelor lifestyle for eternity? Or are they specifically waiting for the right match to come along, much like women wait to be swept off their feet? Getting a man to commit can be a challenge. It can take ten years, and probably some Botox treatments before he is ready to make that next step. Thus should a woman wait on the man she loves, or should she move on? The person you love is definitely worth to put up a fight for, but on the other hand you can waste your life away on a never ending battle. The proverb says "If you love something let it go, and if it comes back it is yours to keep." Well is there a number limit to this proverb?  How many times can we let him back into our lives before the saying is insignificant? Goodness most of us are at two hands and counting. We have ran out of fingers, and what happens when we run out of toes? The trick to knowing how long a noncommittal man is worth waiting on will always come to you sooner or later. Every woman will have a different timeline, and hopefully you will be one of the lucky women who earned her trophy. Here are a few things that might help you win over your prince: First of, don't be a woman who expects and wants commitment after the first date. It's just not going to happen. Secondly, be the woman he can take home to mother. Most men have strong relationships with their mother and want to impress their mothers with a classy, beautiful, and a charmful lady. He will NOT bring home a trashy woman with no class or etiquette. Google "etiquette" to freshen up on your lady skills for better chances on having your man commit. Furthermost this will give you the upper hand above other women he might also be seeing. Next, for the noncommittal man, you need to make sure he has some sort of attachment to you. Aim for being the one he calls when he is having a long day. Aim to be the one he wants to spend his Saturdays with not just the Friday night booty call. If you can achieve this, honey you are one step closer to being his woman. Establish communication. Assure him that you will always be the one he can count on. Show your commitment to him and nine times out of ten he will come to you when something is on his mind. Without a strong communication bond there will be nothing that will connect his mind to you. Men not only look for sexual stimulation, they also look for mental stimulation. Keep it interesting. If he needs to talk, listen. Never force it however, communication should flow freely. Use your womanly charm, we all have it!  When a man is telling you about his problems it is because he trusts you. He wouldn't risk his ego for just anybody. When all fails, give him a little kick in his butt. Sometimes the obvious is easy to miss, and you need to speak up. Put your anticipations out there. How can a man ever know what you really want if you don't tell him? For many women this is the hardest part. The last thing we want is to run him away. As long as you aren't acting emotionally attached after the first date, there is nothing wrong with telling him your feelings. Take a deep breath and express yourself! Sitting there quietly will never earn you what you want...him!! Tell him you are looking for something more and listen to his response. It is probably best to do this in person so you can read his body language at the same time. If he avoids your confessions and gives you the run around, he probably likes you but is not ready to be in a relationship. Don't be surprised, after all you are dealing with a man who has commitment issues. Maybe he is scared of his feelings and needs more reassurance that you will catch him when he falls. Vulnerability is the hardest thing to overcome. Give him a day or two. Wait it out and wait on him to call. If he really sees something special in you he WILL call. Remember, you are the one who can turn his day from bad to good. If he doesn't call, at least you know you gave it your best shot. Some men really can never commit. Look at it as his lose not yours. You have your own expectations and needs to tend too. There is always a man out there that wants to give you what you are worth. Once you have exerted your resources and made your commitment to him undeniable it is up to him to give you commitment back. Fighting for him will not be easy, it will probably cause you many sleepless nights and many tears but as women we are strong fighters. Yet, nevertheless there comes a point in a woman's life when she just does not feel like crying anymore, after all is life not too short? Battles are not meant to last forever, every battle ends eventually. You will either win your man, or realize he was never really worth the fight or the time you had invested in the relationship to begin with.

What's Sex Got to Do With It

It's the 21st century, the new millennial! We survived Y2K, congrats friends! Well while many of us are probably still able to live off the back-stock we have in our basements of canned goods and batteries, looking back nothing much has really changed. Besides Presidents of course, oh and that every beauty queen still asks for world peace. So lets go back to the 90's when things were still normal, at least so I thought. I was still a kid after all, but with some research I was shocked about the things that happened during my prime childhood years. The year was 1993. The hit song was "What's Love Got to Do With It." The president was Bill Clinton (yes I am going there, fits my title perfectly). Lorena Bobbitt committed her infamous crime (ouch!!). And Bill Gates released another version of Windows to the public. Sorry Mr.Gates will have no real significance in this blog however. So the question today is, what's love got to do with it? Most think of sex as a powerful intimate act that two people experience together when they are in love. But like Tina Turner said, who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? And well Bill Clinton wasn't thinking love when he left his mark on that black dress. And what in the world was Lorena Bobbitt thinking? With a spoon of honesty she was the only woman with the courage to do what every woman has thought about doing to an unfaithful spouse! Only difference is, most of aren't crazy...and take our Prozac. So with sex now days being just a casual act, who needs love? Who needs relationships when there is just sex? Who needs Windows when there is Macintosh? Who WANTS love?! Love is plainly wrote at the end of everyone's do to list, next to fixing the hole in the fence. Love isn't ensued these days. Sex is. Sex with no commitment leads to a "friends with benefits" relationship that hardly ever works out (lesson learned Mr. Bobbitt). Sex with no commitment makes awesome chart toppers. Sex with no commitment causes a expensive dry cleaner bill. Sex with no commitment is the best thing to come about in this generation! Even with all these complications, jumping off the love boat to find yourself drowning in meaningless relationships is rather romantic. Who else is thinking Titanic? Maybe in this generation anyone left with any good sense and morals is foolish to believe that a relationship means more than just sex. After all "What's Sex Got to Do With It?"

The Independent Woman

It has been said that "independent women" are the new trend. The 21st century thing to be. We have heard songs and read books about how we do not need men to help manage our daily life.  As a matter of fact, we do not need men at ALL in our life. We can earn our own money, provide for our own children, plan our own future, buy our own homes, make our own dreams reality, and use men only when...you know. I love jamming to hits from Neyo about a woman having her own, hell it is quite an ego boost for most of us. We take it as a compliment, a motivation, a power booster. Yet why is it that so many men turn and walk the other way with their tails between their legs? Are strong women really not the fantasy of every man? In reality do we really intimidate men with our independent lifestyle? Do men feel like we are untouchable? Do men turn the other way when they realize we have no dependency on them? It has been said a man wants to feel needed, wants to provide for his family, and looks for a home where he is the alpha dog. The decision maker. The bill payer.  The "man of the house." In years past, the woman had no word, no opinion, and no rights. Men WERE the top dogs in society. And well times have changed. Lets call it evolution in a sense. Evolution happens when adaption is necessary. Divorce rates are enormous. Men are leaving their families left and right. Women are raising children alone. Men have mistresses in different states. Women are left with their life's torn apart. We had no choice but to adapt. Adapt to the lies, cheating, and financial distress caused by man. Therefore the new breed of woman was born. The woman who needs no man. The woman is known as alpha woman. The woman who can do it all. Now it is time for the man to adapt. Adapt to the independent woman. 

"Love is Blind"

"Love is blind." Yes, the expression has been wore out like that first pair of leather boots in the back of your closet you purchased from Dillard's ten years ago. Is love REALLY blind? Or are we just simply in denial of things that are put in front of us? Is it just an expression we know we can throw on the table to excuse or ignorance? Is it part of denial because we simply can not accept the fact that the person we love is not the person we imagined they would be? Or do we have a delusion of living in a fairy tale that keeps us attached to our prince charming...that is humbly ehhh not so charming? Can we honestly say that we love and accept someone's flaws without resenting them in any way, style, or fashion? Women seem to be completely opposite from men when it comes to "blind love." Women have many contributing factors that blind us from the truth, which mostly can be blamed on our anatomical clock that starts ticking when we hit the age of 23. We realize that our time for finding true love is running out and the inner voice begins screaming to find anyone compatible before the clock runs out...and that's when we settle and loose our wants in the darkness. Am I saying there is no chance at finding love? No, I am a firm believer that there is a man out there for every woman that can give us butterflies for the rest of our lives. A man that can fulfill our every need, be our best friend, and will allow us to love with our heart and eyes wide open. However, we can only bring about this if we do not settle for less and become "blind" to our inner desires. If we learn to balance the heart and the mind we do not have to make an excuse for ignorance, because we will feel what is right and see in light whether it is the real thing.  We do not have to trick our mind into thinking we are in love, yet we have to make intelligent decisions on who we allow to pump passion throughout our body.